Because Pudge romanticizes Alaska, he misunderstands her, and he disregards the parts of her that might not be desirable. I’m talking specifically about her mental illness. Alaska’s warning signs are treated as quirky catch phrases, rather than actual warning signs of a larger, more serious underlying issue. Early on in the book, the group is smoking together, and Alaska finishes her cigarette first. When asked why she smokes so quickly, Alaska responds with, “Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.” Preceding this quote, Alaska’s smile and “elegant” green eyes are described, as if her death wish is a thing of beauty. Which it isn’t. Alaska makes several self-deprecating jokes, and is also constantly linked with some sort of drug, whether it be cigarettes or alcohol.
Therefore, she very obviously uses drugs as a way to cope with her mental illness.
When Pudge suggests she not drink so much, she responds with, “Pudge, what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person.” She admits all of these things freely — being deeply unhappy, wanting to die, viewing herself as a “fuck up” — making no point to hide her dependency on cigarettes and alcohol. She normalizes it, even. Puts it in plain sight so that no one questions it. And no one does. Not even her closest friends.
The severity of Alaska’s symptoms are diminished, but eventually come into question when she dies. Pudge and the Colonel wonder if Alaska’s accident could have actually been suicide, and I believe that question is evidence enough that Alaska needed help all throughout the book. But her friends are still dismissive. The Colonel says, “The way she would get sulky and make references to the freaking oppressive weight of tragedy or whatever but then never said what was wrong, never have any goddamn reason to be sad. And I just think you ought to have a reason.” Feeling sad for no reason is a clear sign of depression. And yet, the Colonel later dismisses the idea of Alaska being mentally ill when he and Pudge are looking at the warning signs of suicide. No matter when the conversation is happening, the idea of Alaska being seriously mentally ill, of Alaska actually needing help and having been void of that help, is diminished.
I don’t think this is entirely inaccurate. I think it’s much easier for us to dismiss the idea of our close friends being mentally ill, rather than acknowledging it and doing something about it. But the issue here, at least in this book, is that it is never solidified that Alaska had a mental illness. She did. She might not have been officially diagnosed, but she did, and that should be taken seriously, at least seriously enough that the book takes a direct stance on it. Because you must take a direct stance when it comes to mental illness and suicide. That’s what I hope for in the eight-episode series. I hope, if Alaska is depicted like she is in the book, that her warning signs aren’t seen as quirks. I hope they make the audience uncomfortable, to the point that when they see an Alaska in their group of friends, they reach out and try and help. I hope the series provides the audience with what one should do when they see an Alaska, as well as what you should do if you are an Alaska.
Readpart one of this three-part blog series.
PRR Writer, Matty Ortega